CLASSICONA SHORT STORIES
14 July 2022|Classicona Short Stories
Short Story One
The FB incident
This morning I was inexorably drawn to noting down some of the most memorable moments that have occurred over the years!
The first story happened on a normal day in late August, the approximate year 2005.
The previous day I had a telephone call asking if we had an FB103 upper funnel that could be collected from us....although we do not usually deal person to person in real-time ( we are primarily internet-based) I agreed that he could collect on the following day at about 3pm.
I prepared the item ready to be collected and sat outside in the garden and enjoyed a welcoming cup of tea whilst waiting for the customer, before long I heard the soft sound of a luxury car purring and parking, I looked out to see if the car was parked correctly and noticed that the car was a beautiful fairly new Rolls Royce.
I shook hands with my customer as this was of course pre-pandemic and fairly usual in those days! We began discussing his reason for needing his replacement...and he said his previous upper funnel had lasted years and in a rather sexist way although quite normal for a gentleman of his age, he explained that his wife had always washed the coffee equipment after making the coffee, then he told me that his wife had passed away 5 weeks ago and for the first time in his life he had to wash the kit himself, he had not picked up the necessary risk factors that would assist in cleaning without damage!
I noticed tears in his eyes when he was explaining things and then felt the need to try and calm things down a little. I found myself suggesting that if ever he needed someone to talk to he could always ring me.
He left looking somewhat happier and I sat in the garden reflecting on matters, I remember saying to myself, were we now a social service! Jesting of course!
My presumption after this many years is that he had created a safety ritual that kept his coffee maker clean and in perfect condition.
Short Story Two
Bentwood trunk Cona damage
This story is about an Irish gentleman, a coffee maker breakage that happened just after the 2nd world war. After the war, he decided to move to Canada to be with his relatives.
He booked passage on a ship that would take him to his new home, carefully packing all his belongings in a bentwood trunk, the journey was fraught with bad weather, and when he eventually found his new home, When he unpacked his only worldly belongings he was very upset to find his lovely old Cona 2a model had its upper funnel smashed. Without the internet, he could not easily find a replacement so decided to place the damaged coffee maker in the attic.
He often mentioned his good old coffee-making days to the younger members of his family, so much so that his family decided to use the internet and search for a possible replacement, Classicona to the rescue, they purchased an original 2a upper funnel and we sent it to Canada in time for him to get a surprise on his 85th birthday.
We were then sent a video over the net depicting this great guy seeing his coffee maker working in the centre of the table at his party and tears were in his eyes.
This definitely made me realise that being part of Classicona was more than just being in business and was certain that this type of occurrence would not normally happen in a regular store!
Short Story three
The Orange Rex
Way back in the '70s a member of the Cona team had worked for Cona Ltd for many years. He purchased a used Cona Rex coffee maker, at the time his home kitchen was painted Orange as this was a fashionable colour at the time.
So he decided to send the machine to a friend who owned a paint shop to get a brand new Orange finish for the Rex!
Brilliant and the Cona made itself at home for some time.
Sometime around the '80s the colour fashion had changed and the Cona was sold to a private buyer in London. he had quite a collection of various Cona machines.
Sometime in the naughties the owner of all the Cona Rex and other machines decided to sell his kit and contacted Classicona. We popped over to his address and finally, the Rex and other coffee makers were back in our hands.
I immediately contacted the Cona team member and told him that his Orange machine was again found and both of us said how small the Cona world is! Naturally only recognised due to its special coat of paint!
The Orange machine is with one of my very best buyers in the USA...still making coffee as fresh as the day the machine was made!
The original owner of the Orange Rex recently passed away and I lost a truly great friend and finder of Cona parts for me at fairs and markets. RIP my friend.
Short Story Four
Cryptic Quiz Challenge
I believe it was sometime in 2005 when the strangest purchases were to take place, Classicona had purchased the last of the demonstration Perco Retro balance machines from the Belgium factory. We had some great very rare examples for sale on the Classicona.com website.
We had a message from the son of a very famous film director, who naturally I can not name.
The father was famous for some mafia movies from the 70s thru to the 90s. He wanted some of the machines for his collection. It was very important that his address was kept private and we had to sign promissory documents to this effect.
We also had to promise to delete all emails.
Before I could mail the items we had to solve a cryptic quiz to gain 8 answers that gave away his address we then had to send the answer to each cryptic clue back in separate emails to effectively make getting the address very difficult, he then would confirm each email was correct so we never placed the full address anywhere except the parcel only.
We passed the security test and we have never had to do anything like this before or after!
His Perco machines were sent and we received really positive feedback!
Even getting the money was complicated but successful!
Short Story Five
Cona Whispers
Way back in time in the very beginning of Cona Company, they were based in Victoria London, manufacturing such things as Umbrellas this was the first time they had used the Erinoid factory. They were an early creator of a plastic type of resin, similar to Bakelite and they had the handles of the brollies made with Erinoid.
Drastically it seems they also made handles for magnifying glasses and one was left near a window ...this was blamed for the cause of a fire that wiped out the factory.
All this information has been passed down over a long period of time so its chit chatter and whisper gossip and cannot be proven, although I strongly believe it to be true.
Once the fire insurance claim was paid Cona moved to SW19 Wimbledon and then started making Coffee makers circa 1910, in many cases using metal handles and Erinoid and later wood. Many different glass makers were used and in some cases for export tax savings were made in various countries that also sold the Cona machines and spares.
During world war 2 it was a difficult time for all factories and glass was scarce so Cona had some drainers made of ceramic to assist things.
In 1951 The Festival of Britain took place and Cona had a stand promoting the Cona Rex coffee machine...made of solid aluminium and coated with paint.
Cona had very cleverly arranged for the smelting of old war-damaged planes that were available after the war was over...both German and English so in a strange way something beautiful came out of such a horrifying war.
Abram Games was a truly successful designer and is famous for many Wartime posters. He went to Cona and suggested that he could make a Cona coffee maker that was easier to use than the older style. He won and Cona started making the Rex.
The Rex was a tremendous success and acted as a continuous reminder that his dog had passed away, the dog's name was REX!
Abram loved his dog that much he had a private plate on his Jaguar REX 1
After the Rex and its success, Abram worked on the A B C D models that took over the world.
Cona at a later date wanted to make the Rex again but it worked out too expensive.
Cona still made the Stovetop Standard and FB103 plus the Junior alongside the a-d models.
Abram Games' daughter still has exhibitions around the country showing his works very proudly.
We have been really proud to have supplied the family with Cona replacement parts for the exhibitions.
Short story Six
James Bonds's Favourite Car
On a routine day sometime in 2003, we had a collection of Cona items to collect.
We headed to Berkshire to purchase a collection of Cona machines several in fact, including Model A and Model B and many other parts.
The seller had purchased them within a larger lot from an auction, the lady went on to explain that the Cona collection was originally owned and used by David Brown the designer of the Aston Martin car company. On his passing, he had left the collection to his chauffeur who had later also passed on.
How excited I was to imagine David Brown working through the night using the Cona machines to refresh himself with a coffee whilst creating such exciting vehicles.
We were then able to pass on the provenance gained verbally to some of our avid collectors who were also really excited about the previous ownership.
Short Story Seven
The rectory table
Sometime in 2007, we had a call from a family in Salisbury. We do not usually travel that far from Guildford but this case seemed really necessary as rather a lot of older Cona machines and parts were for sale.
On arriving at this really lovely old mansion in the country we went into a really large kitchen with a Rectory table about 14 feet by 6 feet, I had never seen anything like this in my life, the table was covered in Cona machines and parts, in fact, you could not have fitted more on the table whatsoever.
We agreed on a good price that both parties were happy with and started discussing where it had all come from and why it was for sale!
It seemed that the family was downsizing and selling the property and the Cona collection had been owned by an obsessive uncle that had recently passed on, he spent many an hour in the attic with his collecting and making his favourite blends of coffee.
One of the family then went on to explain how the Number 1 machine had been used daily and placed at the breakfast table made with fresh coffee for the master of the house by his butler way back in time.
We then spent hours packing it all up and began our trip back to Guildford.
It had been many years since I had been to Salisbury and on the way back remembered that on a previous drive to this area many years earlier I had seen what I thought was a UFO in the sky, at the time only our vehicles occupants could verify the sighting. The UFO was circular and had lights flashing on its base, On our return, we checked to see if any other reports had occurred and found none.
It did not take long for us to sell most of the kit purchased as it was all in great condition considering the age of the items.
Short Story Eight
The strangest Hoarder/collector
Not sure of the year, seem to remember 2001 for some reason.
We had the strangest call on the telephone suggesting that someone had over 100 Cona machines for sale, at first I thought it was a joke, anyway I asked them to send some pictures of this person's collections. It seems that the collector was mad about certain items and when he became ill his family decided to clear the hoard out. Eccentric might be a word for all this business!
Over the net within a couple of days pictures of a warehouse with shelves full of Cona Standard and Fb models. also very strange pictures of 100s of buckets mops and other household items, please note we only purchased the Cona collection
For once in my life, I found this lot difficult to price up and suggested that we would be interested but could not give a firm price until we had viewed the items.
I was not expecting them to say ok we will come down next Tuesday with a van!
But I guess that we may have been the only Cona supplier around for pre-owned machines!
The following week surely enough the van arrived!
Firstly I was not sure where I would store this lot and I needed to check them all for any damage. This took about 2 hours we agreed on a price and then spent another hour putting them into storage. We had purchased many of the brand new seals for these so we were able to bring them all back to life...we did not do this all at once but over a period of time.
All our machines are especially commercially washed by machine before new seals are put on and we take off all handles before washing...so all the kit is as perfect as you would find in the best restaurants!
It took a while for this purchase to sell but they all disappeared fairly quickly.
Yet another strange story for my Blog
Short story Nine
The ghost town saloon bar
It was summer 2008 we received a call from a seller asking us if we were interested in some boxes of Cona machines in the cellar of a pub in Berkshire, to be honest, we do not usually travel far to collect stock but this sounded like fun, so 2 of us decided to take a day out and made a day of it and stopped for dinner on the way in a nice restaurant.
The weather was very hot and we nearly got very lost trying to find the address of the public house. Eventually, we rang the seller and he met us in the old pub car park.
The Pub looked very old and unused in fact it was closed for business.
We ventured in with the seller to find a bar that was extremely untidy ..it was like being in a time machine, we looked at an old jukebox and noticed that the coins used were still in the coin mech tray we all pre-decimal, this meant that it closed way back in time before 1971, how this could be I don't know! Looking over at the bar we noticed brands of beer still unopened that also were from the 60s and 70s.
We sat down and waited for the seller to bring up the boxes of Cona machines from the old cellar they were all unused. we had already agreed on a good price and put them in the van.
Meanwhile, I just had to ask the seller what had happened in this time warp and it turned out that he had the pub left in a will and the family had not done anything with the property for many years
It could almost have been a film set for a movie, I have never ever seen anything like this in my life before and probably never see another.
We set off back to Guildford still discussing this rather strange happening.
Short story Ten
Air flight Cona
Sometime in 2006 Summertime, a call came in from the USA.
Explaining that a private Jet was landing at Farnborough airport and the 2 pilots were calling over to collect several Cona machine D models and some spares.
Great fun as I love meeting Americans.
That afternoon a rental car arrived and we get to meet the Pilots in person we chatted for ages and found out that the Pilots were really into making coffee with the Cona makers.
I cannot mention the company that the Pilots worked for but the company was surely very enterprising!
In the afternoon discussion, I was offered a chance to go to the airport and see the Private jet in person this was something I was really excited about having never been in one!
They were hired by the CEO of a really large organization.
I traveled over to Farnborough that evening and had a taxi take me to the plane where I met the Pilots again.
What an amazing incredible amount of pure luxury even the toilet was Gold and all the seat belts were Gold locking. I was shown where the Cona items were to be stored for the flight and was asked what the total weight would be so that all the weight for the journey could be computed luckily enough I knew the weight as I post them every day!
I was so grateful to be able to see the Jet on the inside .
After the viewing was over we said our goodbyes and for some strange reason, a car had not been arranged for them to be taken to their hotel so I offered them a lift.
When we arrived at the hotel I was asked if I wanted to enjoy a meal in a local old-world pub that they wanted to see so I enjoyed dinner with them. Great meal and more talking!
I'll never forget one of the Pilots asking me if I had ever heard of Google and the other Pilot saying we are in England and the English are as advanced as the USA.
Maybe he had watched some old movies prior to the flight!
Anyways I then drove home but felt like I had been truly spoilt by my American clients.
Great day out brilliant fun!
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